Play Is Not Wasted Time: Why Fun Is the Most Powerful Teacher Your Child Has

Play Is Not Wasted Time: Why Fun Is the Most Powerful Teacher Your Child Has

 

I still remember the first time someone asked me what extracurricular activities my four-year-old was enrolled in. Soccer? Piano? Robotics?

I blinked. “He’s not enrolled in anything,” I replied. “He mostly plays in the dirt.”

There was a pause, that kind of polite smile that says “Oh... you’re one of those.”

But the truth is, I am one of those. One of those parents who believes — deeply — that play is not wasted time. In fact, it’s one of the most important parts of childhood, and when we overlook it, we’re not doing our kids a favor. We’re stealing from them what could be their most natural and effective way to grow.

 

The Myth of Productivity in Childhood

We live in a world where everything has to be productive. We want our kids to “get ahead,” so we fill their days with structured classes, sports, tutoring, enrichment programs, and scheduled play dates.

But here’s the catch: play is not the opposite of learning. It is learning.

When children play freely — without adults directing every move or outcome — they develop:

• Problem-solving skills
• Creativity and imagination
• Self-regulation and emotional intelligence
• Resilience and flexibility
• Social skills and empathy

They’re not wasting time. They’re building a foundation that no worksheet or piano lesson can replace.

 

What Free Play Looks Like (and Why It Matters)

Free play doesn’t come with a manual. It doesn’t always look pretty. It’s often messy, loud, chaotic — and utterly magical.

It’s the moment when my daughter turned a cardboard box into a spaceship, complete with drawn-on control panels and a duct-taped seat-belt.
It’s the hours my son spent digging “construction sites” in our backyard, building whole cities of sticks and rocks.
It’s tea parties with stuffed animals. Obstacle courses in the living room. Pretending to be dinosaurs for an entire afternoon.

What looks like silliness is, in fact, serious developmental work. Through play, children explore who they are, how the world works, and how to connect with others. They experiment with fear, joy, frustration, power, and love — safely, through their imagination.

 

The Pressure to Do More (and Why It Backfires)

I’ve felt it too — the subtle (or not-so-subtle) pressure to enroll them in “enrichment” classes, to buy the educational toys, to structure every afternoon with some kind of growth-focused activity.

And listen, I’m not against structure. I’m not against learning instruments or joining sports. Those things have their place.

But when every moment is scheduled, when there’s no breathing room for boredom, when free time becomes a problem to fix instead of a space to explore — we rob our children of a vital part of childhood.

We also risk something deeper: they start to associate their value with achievement. With doing more. With being “good” at everything. And then… they grow up into adults like many of us — burned out, disconnected, unsure how to relax, afraid of failure.

 

What Happens When We Let Them Lead

I made a small experiment in my own home. For one week, I canceled everything I could. No extra classes, no planned outings, no screens. I just let them play. I let them get bored.

Do you know what happened?

• They became inventors.
• They negotiated complicated make-believe scenarios without my help.
• They laughed more.
• I laughed more.

And more importantly: I saw confidence blossom. I saw leadership, cooperation, problem-solving — not because I taught it, but because they discovered it.

All I had to do was get out of the way.

 

How to Make Space for Play (Even in a Busy World)

You don’t have to overhaul your whole life to invite more play. You just need to protect some space for it.

Here are some simple ways to do that:

1.  Guard their free time like it matters — because it does.

2.  Let them get bored. Boredom is the spark of creativity.

3.  Resist the urge to direct. Let them decide how to play.

4.  Allow mess. Creativity is often chaotic.

5.  Say yes more often. To blanket forts. To water puddles. To silly ideas.

And most of all — watch. Watch how they light up when they’re trusted to lead. Watch how they come alive when they don’t feel the pressure to “perform.”

 

What They Learn When We Let Them Play

When we give our children time and freedom to play, here’s what they absorb — not as lectures, but as deep truths:

• I am capable of creating something from nothing.
• My ideas matter.
• I can solve problems on my own.
• It’s okay to make mistakes.
• Joy doesn’t need a reason.

And trust me — that’s a curriculum that will serve them far beyond childhood.

 

A Final Thought for the Grown-Ups

Maybe the best part? When we give them space to play, we start to remember how to play too.

We remember that life doesn’t always have to be so serious. That it’s okay to slow down. That presence is more powerful than pressure.

So if you needed permission today to say “no” to one more structured activity and “yes” to digging holes, painting rocks, or chasing butterflies — this is it.

Let them play. It might just be the best school they’ll ever attend.

 

If you want to delve deeper into this and other topics, here is the link

 to my eBook and book: https://books2read.com/u/47yn28

Marie A. MacArthur. 

 

 

“I Wrote This Book as a Mom, for Other Moms (and Dads Too)”

 

“I Wrote This Book as a Mom, for Other Moms (and Dads Too)”

 

I’m not a psychologist, I’m not a parenting coach, and I don’t have a fancy degree hanging on the wall. I’m just a mom.

A mom who once felt completely overwhelmed, exhausted, and—let’s be honest—guilty. Guilty for yelling when I didn’t want to. For repeating phrases, I swore I never would. For watching my kids’ faces sink after something I said in the heat of the moment.

But something inside me refused to settle. Deep down, I knew I wasn’t raising little robots who just needed to follow rules. I was shaping hearts, wiring minds, building the foundation for their self-worth, their courage, their beliefs about the world—and themselves.

And so, I started changing. Not everything overnight. But little by little. Word by word. Habit by habit.

This book was born from that journey.

 

I Chose to Remain Anonymous… and I’ll Tell You Why

I’ve been asked more than once: “If you wrote a book that helps so many parents, why don’t you show your face? Why not take the credit?”

And here’s the truth: I never wanted this to be about me.

Because I’m not the story here—you are. You and every parent reading this who is trying, day by day, to raise emotionally healthy, confident children in a world full of noise, fear, and unrealistic expectations.

Staying anonymous allows me to step aside, so the message can step forward. I didn’t want my background, appearance, or even my voice to get in the way of what really matters: the words, the habits, the parenting mindset that changes everything.

 

Why I Believe in This So Deeply

I’ve lived both sides of parenting: the one full of inherited patterns, stress, autopilot reactions—and the one where I paused, rewired, and chose a new way.

This book is the guide I wish I had years ago.
It’s the gentle voice I needed when I didn’t know how to speak love through frustration.
It’s the reminder I still use today, every time I look at my kids and ask myself,
"What kind of inner voice am I building in them today?"

The way we speak, the habits we reinforce, the beliefs we nurture... it all adds up. Every word is a seed. Every reaction becomes a lesson. Every moment is a chance to either empower or limit.

That’s what this book is about.
And that’s why I’m sharing it—with you.

 

If You’re Here, It Means You Care

If you’re reading this, chances are you’re not looking for perfection.
You’re looking for something deeper.
A way to raise children with strong hearts, healthy minds, and a deep belief that they are enough.

Welcome. You’re in the right place.
I hope this book feels like a conversation with a friend who understands.
Because that’s how I wrote it. With you in mind.

Marie A. MacArthur.
(A mom, just like you.)

 

Why Your Child Is Afraid to Try — And What You Might Have Said

Why Your Child Is Afraid to Try — And What You Might Have Said

I still remember the day my six-year-old stood frozen in front of a climbing wall. His little hands gripped the lowest rock and he just wouldn’t move. His eyes were wide, not with excitement, but with fear.

“Come on, you’ve done harder things,” I said, gently. But he didn’t move.

Later that night, he whispered to me, “Mom, what if I fall and you think I’m not brave?”

That sentence broke me a little inside.

And it made me think: how many times have I unknowingly planted a seed of fear in my children’s hearts, just with an offhand comment or a moment of frustration?

 

The Silent Messages We Don’t Even Realize We’re Sending

Most of us don’t mean to hold our kids back. In fact, we’re doing everything we can to push them forward. But here’s the truth:

Sometimes, the fear our children carry… started with our words.

Not on purpose. Never to hurt them. But maybe you’ve said things like:

• “That’s too hard for you right now.”
• “You’re not ready yet.”
• “Let me do it, you’ll just make a mess.”
• “You’re going to fall if you try that.”
• “We can’t afford to break another one.”

Even when said lovingly or protectively, these phrases can create a powerful script in your child’s mind:
"I shouldn’t take risks. Mistakes are bad. I’m not capable."

And the sad part is—they start believing it long before they can argue back.

 

The Fear of Failing Starts at Home

Think about how children learn: by trying, failing, and trying again. But if they get used to hearing “don’t mess it up”, or “that’s too expensive to risk breaking”, or even “you’re not good at that”—they stop experimenting. They stop learning.

They start choosing safety over growth.

They'd rather not try at all than try and disappoint you.

That’s how we accidentally raise kids who are afraid to try. Not because they’re weak or lazy… but because they love us so deeply, they’d rather protect our approval than chase their own growth.

 

What I Started Saying Instead

After that climbing wall moment, I made a quiet decision: I was going to change the narrative I was feeding my kids.

I started saying:

• “Trying something new is brave, even if you’re scared.”
• “Mistakes help your brain grow stronger.”
• “You don’t have to be perfect—you just have to start.”
• “If it breaks, we’ll figure it out. You’re worth more than the stuff around you.”
• “I’ll be proud of you no matter what the result is.”

And you know what? The shift was almost instant.

They started trying more. Taking creative risks. Speaking up. Making beautiful messes and laughing louder than they had in weeks. They weren’t fearless—but they weren’t frozen anymore.

 

How to Rebuild Confidence in a Child Who’s Hesitant

If you suspect your child has absorbed some hidden messages that made them fear trying, here’s a starting point:

1. Apologize for What You Didn’t Know

Yes, really. Say something like:
“I think I may have said things that made you feel nervous to try. I’m learning too, and I want you to know it’s okay to make mistakes.”

Just acknowledging this can be healing for them—and freeing for you.

2. Reframe Fear as a Normal Emotion

Normalize fear:
“It makes total sense to feel scared when you try something new. That means you're about to grow.”

3. Praise the Process, Not Just the Outcome

Instead of “You’re so smart,” say:

• “You worked so hard on that.”
• “I love how you didn’t give up.”

This builds resilience, not perfectionism.

4. Create a “Brave Jar”

Every time your child tries something that feels hard or scary, add a marble or a sticker to the jar.
Celebrate the effort—not the result.

 

Final Thoughts: They’re Always Listening, Even to the Quiet Messages

Your child hears more than your words. They hear your tone, your sighs, your silences, your praise, your worry. They watch your eyes when they mess up. They read your face when they ask a question.

So yes—your words matter. But so does your energy.

Make it safe for them to try. To stumble. To say “I’m scared, but I’ll try anyway.”

That’s not just how confidence is born—it’s how courage is nurtured.

 

If this resonated with you, check out my book:

 “What You’re Really Teaching Your Kids (Without Even Knowing It)” – available on: https://books2read.com/u/47yn28

Let’s raise brave kids, together.

Marie A. MacArthur

About the Book "What You’re Really Teaching Your Kids (Without Even Knowing It)"

 

What if the little things you say and do today are shaping your childs future more than you realize?

In What You’re Really Teaching Your Kids (Without Even Knowing It), Marie A. MacArthur invites parents into a heartfelt, eye-opening journey through the invisible lessons we pass on to our children every day — often without even noticing.

With a warm, conversational tone — like a wise friend over coffee — Marie shows you how your words, habits, and emotional patterns quietly program your childs beliefs about success, love, self-worth, and resilience.

Youll discover how simple daily choices, when made consciously, can build a foundation for lifelong abundance, emotional intelligence, and true inner strength. And youll also understand the long-term consequences of ignoring these invisible lessons — consequences that often surface in adulthood when its much harder to undo them.

If you want to parent with more love, clarity, and purpose — and raise children who thrive not just academically, but emotionally and spiritually — this book will become your trusted companion.

Because every day, whether we realize it or not... we are teaching our kids who they believe they are.

https://books2read.com/u/47yn28